The Sun Came Out

It was the morning, I knew that because there was daylight and the birds were chirping outside my window. And it was already warm. 

I checked my phone for the weather forecast. Which I’ve always felt that three and five must be getting fed up with four getting all the time in the spotlight. 

A meteorologist chap said “Red alert! The sun will be out today. And it might be quite warm.” 

Now listen, my fan must have been looking over my shoulder. Because I had a pretty awkward conversation with it. 

—Oi! Forget having me running all day, like yesterday and last night. 

—Er, I need you to—

—Nope, sod off. I have rights. 

—But it’s going to be very warm. I’d appreciate your help. 

—And who helps me, eh? Trying to find cool air when there is none. My little motor can only do so much. 

Ah, I mean it does have a point. Well, it doesn’t, it has blades that whirl around inside a cage so it doesn’t lop my fingers off. But the warm air thing? Yes, that is true. 

Fear not, though, I’ve come up with a cunning plan. 

I’ve removed the drawers from the freezer. And I’m currently sitting inside it. Any typos in this article will be because I can’t move my arms very well. It’s quite cramped in here. 

Mary asked me what the plan was for the stuff in the freezer. The conversation went like this:

—So, you’re sitting in the freezer? 

—Yes! I thought we could take it in turns.

—Right. And all the food that was in there? 

—Pfft! It’s already cold. So not a problem.

She rolled her eyes and they display “idiot” before returning to her normal optical arrangement. She shook her head, and walked away. Clearly impressed with my ingenuity. 

Now, I have some advice if you’re planning the same thing. Leave your chosen seating item (I used a cushion for people suffering with piles) in the freezer before you get in. 

That way, when you sit on it, your backside will go from superheated to cool in an instant. 

Tsk! Warm weather! Red alerts! No need to worry. A bit of joined up thinking and a rearrangement of the freezer drawers solves the problem in an instant.