The 24-Hour News Cycle

In the year of 1989 a man called the Rupert thought of a name for a news TV channel while looking out of the window. 

He turned to an executive assistant and simply said:

—Sky! 

—Er, yes, there is a lot of it out there. 

—No, you Drongo, I mean the name for the news channel! We can call it Sky! 

—Ah, right. 

But that wasn’t the only thing that occurred to him that morning at the window. 

He glanced down at the street far below. And saw a person pedalling a bicycle. And another one. And then one more. 

He watched them meander up the road wondering why they were interesting to him. And then, for some reason, thought about lunch later that day. 

A quite remarkable thing happened. 

—I’ll have a salad, he muttered. 

But since he liked the news, he also said: 

—But not a word salad, eh? 

His assistant was wise enough to stay quiet. But then he had word salad in his mind. And another cyclist went by on the street far below. He started muttering words. 

—Bike.

—Bikes 

—Bicycle.

—Cycle. 

Then, much to the alarm of his assistant, he leapt in the air, spun around three times and danced the jive — whilst still in the air. 

—News cycle! I have it! We will cycle the news for 24 hours.

—Oh, excellent idea, Rupert. CNN do that in America—

—Well, we are going to do it here! In London. At Sky News! 

He clapped his hands and punched the air. The air didn’t punch him back on account of having no fists. The air in the office that day was reported to have said if it had fists…

—Make an order with the Universal Bicycle company. The one that supplies gymnasiums with bicycles. 

—Okay, are we having a gym in the office, then? 

—What? No! They are for the basement. Have the basement cleared. Today. 

—For the bikes? 

—Jeez! Yes for the bikes! 

—So, a gym in the basement—

—For fuck’s sake, woman! No! Also hire an Olympic cycling team. Today. 

His assistant at this point, was rather confused. But knew better than to question the Rupert. 

—Ha! For the news cycle, right? 

—Very good! This is why I hired you. You’ve caught on quickly. Yes! We need fit cyclists because… 

He paused for dramatic effect. 

—We are going to run a 24-hour news cycle! 

—I see. 

She didn’t. And thought that the Rupert was taking the concept of a news cycle rather too literally. But she liked her job, mostly. So said nothing. 

And so it was, that in February 1989, a team of elite cyclists first started pedalling in a shift pattern to ensure that Sky News could provide the first 24-hour news cycle in the UK. 

Rumour has it, they are still in the basement of Sky News. A team of very fit pensioners.